How touched I am that you left so many wonderful comments to my previous post & plea for help. I think we should have monthly confessionals or something because i loved this. Also, i think your comments saved me for last week was especially trying given the recent snowfall. I can't really talk about it for that would negate my efforts to be in denial about it, but just know that you helped me more than you will know. I am dedicating a new separate post to your comments, i enjoyed them so much.
1. Totally agreed with & laughed at Rob's comment about Joel's "confession." "I care too much." ha haha. Joel's 2nd confession reminded me of another one i have, and this one is seriously serious.
Sean will totally disown me when/if he finds out about this. I don't think it was THAT gross but i have a feeling he would have died if i'd told him. But it's time to come clean. One time, in the not too distant past, we had ordered some thai food. I was prepping it for Sean and digging into a carton of steaming hot rice when i spotted a brown spot--yes, it was a bug. Probably a cockroach. It was gross. I have this thing where i don't want to give in to the grossness of reality sometimes, so i just pretend everything's fine, that I am unaffected. Just ignore it, it will go away. If i react too much, the gross thing will have won, and i don't want to let that happen. So i threw the bug away, and the rice surrounding it, and calmly resumed preparing the thai food and eating it. I'm sorry, Sean. I swear, I thought I was protecting you!! (I really wonder what he will say....)
2. Rachel, making up a confession about hitting an animal just to go with your car confessions is awesome. I do not laugh at animals getting hit by cars, but you are just a funny girl.
3. Amber, your confession is so disturbing. I canNOT believe that actually happened. This tale needs to be told at length. Because ohmygaah.
4. On that note, Sean's favorite confession? Andrew's. "Comic genius," Sean said. This means a lot, Andrew, I hope you know. :) And i agree. Totally busted up.
5. Natalie, it took a lot of courage to confess what you did. I think we were all nasty kids at some point. ;) Some time ago, my friend Brooke and i got together and read notes we wrote to each other from high school. Maybe it was the age and that's just how kids are but all of mine were like, "Dear Brooke, you are a loser!" "Dear Brooke, you are so dumb." (<-- total word-for-word opener from one...) So jerky. I was like, "geez, why were you friends with me?? Hi, I'm Jen. Jen the bully. BE MY FRIEND OR ELSE."
6. I laughed at "I nearly started drooling I'm so excited for summer to come" from one of Alanna's confessions. Also, that dream about cheating on your husband was kind of funny. I hate those dreams. I mean, where you did something horribly wrong and you feel all the guilt & emotions in a real way for something you didn't actually do. Why, dreams? why?
Thanks again for all the comments. They were delightsome and i got a bit of serotonin from reading them. Rickets gone.
p.s. feel free to continue adding confessions. i really think i might have sporadic blog posts about them, whenever i feel the need.
People, it's February. How long has it been February? Approximately 350,000 millennia. I don't remember January. I don't remember warm. I don't remember what this post was going to be about. Oh wait, yes.
My point is this: Winter is the longest, stupidest, soul-suckingest time of the year. It can really be detrimental to the functioning and well-being of my brains. Do they have serotonin pills? My baby child has this tiny sun toy that crinkles. Sometimes i play with it and whisper pitifully, "shine on me, sun... shine on me..." as I shrink and crumble to the floor and lie with my head on the giant pillow we're sharing, face-to-face with baby, noses touching, until he licks my face and brings me back to life. I think there is serotonin in baby licks.
What can we do about this? I need your help. I have a suspicion there may be others in the same boat. We need to help each other. But how? I feel like I need to form a connection to the outside world, namely, with other humans. At this point I'd probably settle with talking to a robot but I guess something alive would be better. I'd talk to my amaryllis but it died, finally.
So how to establish this? What do we talk about? Something that immediately comes to mind, regarding bonding, is girls camp. Or just a group of girls. It appears that generally, when females congregate and one begins "opening up," others do too. Either they are naturally like this, or some feel pressure to open up, to reciprocate so others feel ok about what they just revealed. I have found myself in that kind of situation often. I'm not one to really pour out my heart and soul to the next passing stranger, (I like to be mysterious) but sometimes in certain situations I've felt maybe a bit of pressure or like I ought to participate in kind, so I do. Occasionally the sentiment or experience i share is real, and the shared moment is nice and you're like, ok that's cool. But often I find myself just making something up--haha, or kind of, what's the word... sharing a story and then embellishing it a bit until i'm like, what the hey did i just say? That's not even true. It's not like a LIE and it's really insignificant, but it doesn't exactly 100% reflect my true feelings. I'm just talking just to talk, know what i mean?
Aaaanyway, if you got through that paragraph, A+. So here is what I suggest.
CONFESSIONS. Ha ha ha. I don't know why. I think the rickets setting in is making me crazy in the head. But is there something funny/embarrassing/painfully heavy on your conscience that you JUST HAVE TO GET OFF YOUR CHEST? Whoa, I all-capped way too many words there. It should have only just been the last 3, or maybe even just "chest," or "have." Or maybe just italicized? When in doubt, italicize, as i always say.
So let's have it. Please? I am CERTAIN the resulting bond will make us BBFFs (blog best friends forever) with each other forever. Wait that's redundant. forever forever. Well it just emphasizes my point. And this shared bond will help us feel close to other humans and we won't completely lose all social skills from being hermits & trolls due to stupid stupid stupid winter. Oh, and i invite people of all genders.
Ok let me think, and i promise i won't make anything up, just for bonding's sake.
CONFESSION: i once stole a saltwater taffy from the big bin at Smith's grocery. It was purple, and i ate it on my bike later that day, and it was delicious. I mean, i thought it was like "here have a free sample." That bin was so big and open and accessible. They should really be more careful.
CONFESSION: As I type, I am halfway to rapidly eating an entire container of almonds. Think about that. Almonds aren't very easy to eat. I'm out of control.
CONFESSION: I have phonaphobia and totally respond to people's calls by emailing them.
CONFESSION: One time i bumped a parked car and drove off. *shameful face* I looked to see if there was any damage and i couldn't see any. What was i supposed to do? i was late for the olympics.(<-- true. but, no expansion.)
CONFESSION: When I was small, like around 7 or so, my mother was baking bread. The details are sketchy but all i know is some of the dough scraps, perhaps rolled into a ball, got thrown into the trash. I think i was eating some of it beforehand and then it got thrown away accidentally? I'm not sure. Either way, I reached in the trash, pulled out the dough ball, and continued eating it. Then when my brother asked if i'd just gotten it out of the trash, I lied and said "no..." Lying is bad, i understand. But what's the greater crime here? Lying, eating food out of the trash, or eating dough??? You tell me. All three are reprehensible. Anyway, WHEW. I feel so much better.
Ok, i guess i've divulged enough for now. You HAVE to comment. I need this, don't you understand? You have my awesomely hilarious blog posts (or in this case, scary and disturbing--Sean said after reading this: "i feel dirty") to keep you entertained for days and days, but it's not the same for me (it almost is). I wrote it! It doesn't last as long. (almost as long)
I posted about the release of The Lower West's album Only the Dead Know Brooklyn a while back but I have a feeling there may be some people who might want/need a re-look. Re-launch! We've added a twist! Please read:
Dear friends, fans of music, and/or people who I think have a good heart:
Have you been asking yourself, how can i donate to charity while acquiring some awesome tunes? Look no further.
As you may or may not have heard, I have a new album out with a band called the Lower West. We are really proud of the music and feel like you will enjoy it. Rather than a traditional release of the record we had a thought, "what if we could use our record to help some people?"
To do this, we have made our album free to download--as long as you donate at least $10 to charity. Each month for the next 10 months we will be announcing a new cause that we support. If you donate $10 or more to them you can download our album for free at http://thelowerwest.com. Pretty simple.
Our first month we will be supporting Phoenix Children's Hospital, where Dom from the band works as a pediatric resident. They do great work for some very sick kids, and we thought it would be nice to offer some help.
Thanks for reading and thanks in advance for donating and/or passing this along to all of your friends.
Hugs,
the Lower West (Jeff Jeppesen, Dominic Moore, Jennifer Morello)
personal note from me, Jen: Clearly this is a form message we are sending out to our friends, but I've added some of my own personal touches. (guess which parts and you'll win a prize!) But i would like to say, you've heard bits and pieces here and there on ye olde blog and now it's finally for real for real. It's been mastered and re-mastered and re-re-mastered. It's exciting. If you're dead inside you don't want to buy/donate at this time, at least leave a comment to tell me how super rad awesome it is that i'm in a band and you're really excited for me.
FAQs:
1. What if there is a different charity I want to give to? please let us know! We have our list of 10, but we are willing to add/change it if we find another cause that we may have missed. Haven't you ever thought, oh that I could have some kind of platform to get donations to my favorite charity? Well now's your chance!
2. What if I want a physical CD instead of a download? We did a very limited release of physical CDs to keep down costs and because digital music is now so dominant. With this in mind, if you want a CD we ask that you donate at least $20 to charity and we will send you your own copy of the disc lickity split.
3. Can I catch a show by the Lower West? We are unfortunately located on different end of the US at this time, but we planned ahead. You can see performances on YouTube by searching "the Lower West."
4. I don't have itunes, and also, this isn't a question. Feel free to donate and i'll send you a copy.
Also, email us any other questions you might have or leave it in the comments!
Sean and i went to a fabulous valentines party this weekend and our assignment was to bring something savory. How do we make a savory valentiney food?
Heart-shaped pizzas, that's how. Some pictures.
First, your standard "everything" pizza.
2nd: your standard margherita pizza. This was quite tasty, i must say. The mozzarella was heart-shaped at one point. You can kind of tell.
3rd: Your standard brie & canadian bacon pizza. It was delightsome, though it kind of looks like poop.
4th: The ever-classic goat cheese & grapes pizza. Unfortunately i don't have a picture of this but that's ok because the best part of all of this was the AMAZING carrier Sean constructed in 10 seconds for all of these pizzas. We first thought I might have to transport the pizzas, along with the baby, by myself but fortunately Sean was able to be there. So I went out of the room for like a second and came back and Sean was like, "so, i made you this thing..." Oh Sean. Sean Sean Sean:
Amazing. And wondrous. Here it is closed.
Of course, the best part of the pic: baby in a heart bandana. <-- i think i just came up with a song title.
In honor of this approaching Valentine's Day, the day of love and loveness and dates and flowers, I am reminded of the best "doorstep goodbye," post-date, i've ever heard of. This is thanks to my sister and her date, who I hope doesn't read this, but if he does, then i am laughing WITH him, not at him.
He walked her up to the door, exchanged thank yous and whatnot, and then came the moment: goodnight hug? goodnight kiss? goodnight fist bump? He chose none of these. What he gave her was this:
A goodnight side hug WITH a high-five.
AH HAhahahahaha... ohh i love this so much. Picture that combo. I laugh, but really I should be applauding his coordination, because I am impressed.
We got a little visit from Crazy the other day, in the form of me, which was contributed to my being sick, and often when i'm sick, especially if it's something i'm not familiar with & if i'm in a substantial amount of pain, i go a little berserk. In events such as this, you can expect me to audibly summon the demons of the underworld to take back this Evil with which I have been stricken, multiple times, before the day is out. I am about to reveal an excellent EXCELLENT Sean quote. Totally inadvertent, and hilarious. A dialogue, if you will:
Jen: Sean, I'm so glad you stayed home from work. Seriously, I would have been an absolute wreck. Well, more than I already unbelievably was. Sorry about that...
Sean: No, way. I am glad too. I wanted to be here for your wreck-dom.
Jen: my what??
Sean: NO! your-- wreck! like w-r-e-c-k...
after 20 years of laughing, hunched over...
Jen: No.. no thanks. I think i'm ok in that department...
Where will I end up? Where will I live? These are questions one might ask in their adult years. You might get married, you might start having kids. You might have one dream, and you won't rest until you see yourself there. Or you might feel varying feelings. Despite where you are now, you might have a feeling, somewhere in a nook of your innards, a desire to "settle down" somewhere. To have your spouse and your kids and to raise them in this place that they will call their home, and look back and remember it with the homey feeling and say "that was where I grew up."
I believe, ultimately, that i am one of the "varying feelings" kind. Many people move to Brooklyn to attend a school program and then move back to whence they came, or someplace similar. When I first married, the plan was to be in New York for at least 2 years. Sean went to art school in Brooklyn and that was the length of the program. It was strange, because I think we knew in our hearts we would stay longer than that, because when those two years were up and the decision to stay was naturally & easily made, and people asked us "when are you moving back?" i thought it was weird. Like, what? why would I, necessarily? We are of that kind. Sean used to "teasingly" tell me, "I am NOT New York!" For before we met, I yearned, deeply, to live in a big city. I would pick up or drop people off at the airport, take a minute to watch the departing planes in the sky and think, where are you going? take me with you.
And then we met in the summer, he told me his fall plans, and then we decided to get married (heh heh).
I have loved living here. I have never known a place with such a strong impact on my identity, nor have i felt such a strong connection. I had wonderful growing up years and loved where I was raised, but there is something about this city place that reflects something deep in the insides of my soul. I don't know what it is, exactly. But it's a tone that resonates, and beautifully, and I cherish it, I really do.
People in Brooklyn might start having kids. They might have another, and another. And that's just about the limit before your apartment literally bursts at the seams. And people leave to bigger, less expensive pastures. For the people who didn't determine to leave after their schooling, I think the common response they give, when asked how long they'll live here, is "who knows? Probably 3-5 years." And they've been saying that for the past 3-5 years. Like us. And now it's been 6.
Now I have a child and I feel a certain draw to things never much considered, like the suburbs, or a house. I've never planned on living in New York FOREVER. It's too cold, too hard, too dirty, too expensive, too small (the living space). But always the next thought following that is, but how could I ever leave? And that's how it ends. Every time.
And yet, there is a part of me that thinks, maybe it is time? Maybe we should move, and "settle down." Toting a kid makes getting around incredibly more difficult. And then there's always the looming inevitability of schooling. Do i want my kid to go to school here?
So as much as it scares me/makes me cry/whatever, I think that, who knows? Maybe I'm ready to move, to settle down. I see myself living in a lot of places, really. And I see myself never living in others.
And then I see something that sparks something else. And I remember that thing, that need, deep in my innards, that I've long known was there, but that New York has heartily satisfied these 6 years, and it is this: the desire to live in a foreign land. There is a strong pull. A very strong pull. And i've lately felt a sharp tug.
I want an adventure. Always, in life, wherever i am, all the time. I live for the adventure. And i fear the mundane. I know life is what you make it, but could that life just be in the Seychelles for a while? Or Kenya? Or the south of France? Or Italy? Or, as my dear friend Amber said, the south of anywhere.
It might be crazy, it might be hard, especially with a little Julian, but the force of the pull is strong. I feel it every day. Sean and I both feel a change might be looming, of some form or another. So I might start doing some investigating. But I might not, because, how could I ever, EVER leave this place?
Apparently I just can't say enough about it. Here we go!
1. You feel that using the word "fan" is insufficient. Maybe uber-fan? Crazy fan? Crazy uber-geek fan?
2. You buy yourself Lord of the Rings Trivial Pursuit for Christmas.
3. You play it SIX TIMES over the holidays.
4. WHILE watching the movies.
5. WITH subtitles on, so you now know the names of secondary or thirdary characters. Hama, Haldir, etc. (Hama gets his head bitten off by a Worg and Haldir is the pretty elf guy of Lothlorien who comes to help fight at Helm's Deep)
6. You get mad when you lose the game and want to take out the winner's wedges, and throw them all over the room.
7. When you read the word "eleven" anywhere, you consistently misread it as "elven." And you're disappointed when you realize it's not.
8. You fight about naming a daughter Eowyn.
9. Similarly, you are jealous of the girl you know whose middle name is Arwen. For real.
10. You talk about Lord of the Rings ALL. THE. TIME.
I almost succombed to the january blues, but this saved me at the last second. I defy you to still be glum after hearing this song.(and if the song doesn't help, the claymation will) My friend gave me this album and it's one of my favorites in a long long time.
1. First and foremost: Tremors. Now, Tremors really ought to be its own post, and a lengthy one at that. It is really in a class, category, dimension of its own. It hasn't been on television in a really long time as far as i know, but back in the day it used to be on TNT all the time, and i watched it all the time because MAN is it awesome. Seriously, i could go on and on about it. But i won't. Just, Netflix it or something if you can. Experience it for yourself. In fact, I'm doing that right now.
2. Stargate. Why? Well, it's super cool and sci-fi. Love that. And one of my celebrity crushes is in it, James Spader, who is totally nerd-hot, aka just hot, in this movie.
3. Any of the Jurassic Parks. Even the crappy 3rd one. *shameful face*
5. Pride and Prejudice. I love this movie. I own it, but when it's on, I watch it still. It bewitches me, body and soul.
6. I just realized I skipped #4. drr. i'll just keep going and make you wonder what the secret 4th movie is. Anyway, 6. Castaway. I don't watch it in full, thankfully, (who can, after seeing it the first time?) But something about it makes me linger longer than I should. I don't think it's a bad movie by any means but it's just one of those "see it once" type of movies. Yet when it's on tv, which it is a LOT, there's something about it. I don't know. One of those-- "Geez, AGAIN??" and then, bluhhh... you sit there with frozen remote and stare for far too long.
7. Any of the Harry Potters. This is bizarre considering I think the movies are poop. Sean loves them, and i like them in that they're HP, but other than that, there's no reason I should be watching them again and again on TV. Especially because we own them and we often battle over them. Me: "How about you watch them when i go to Utah?" Rarely am I in an HP mood, and yet...
8. I always give The Day After Tomorrow a decent chunk of my attention. Remember: EVERY TIME it's on, which this one is on 20 times a day on FX. Or at least every time i see that it's on which is at least once a day. Ahhh how can i write this so it doesn't sound like I watch tv all day. Oh well. Next.
9. Panic Room. When i--watch--this--I always--feel--so---panicked! It's--so--intense! AHHH! HURRY! AHH! I like it.
10. Air Force One. Oh, Harrison. You should be president. This movie has just the right amount of action, suspense, thrill, cheese, and patriotism, all the makings of something I just can't stop looking at. And Gary Oldman is great.
That's pretty good for now. I'll let you know if i think of others. What are some of yours? Don't be ashamed. Tell us. (see #3)
Hi, I'm Jen. I'm married to Sean and we live in Brooklyn. Sean is an artist and I am a philanthropist. Yep, helping mankind. It's what i do. I like to post here my thoughts, blatherings and adventures I have here in the city. Sometimes they're fun to read. Sometimes they're kind of stale. Oh well. Cheers!
| »
Kim | 3/8/10 7:47 PM
Sean | 3/1/10 5:46 PM